The Power to Carry It Out

Comic courtesy of xkcd (I think this may be my favorite comic ever in the history of the world.)

I (in my real life, pseudonymless state) have been participating recently in a book discussion with a group of friends online. And things have gotten heated. I have opinions. Other people have opinions. Other people have opinions about my opinions. Other people felt hurt and dismissed by my opinions. I felt hurt and dismissed by other people's opinions.

So, I did that thing that I do, where I fuss in my head about how to make people understand where I'm coming from: "Hey, I'm smart too! My opinion's not ridiculous! I'm not crazy! I've been misunderstood! Misinterpreted! And I'm going to find the right words to prove it to you." I fussed and fussed in my head, all morning long. I fussed to myself as I made breakfast and got the kids dressed and put my son on the bus and took my daughter off to her school. And I fussed nearly all of the way home from her school, until I finally stopped and thought, "Enough! This isn't healthy or sane. I need to look at this a different way and let go. God, help me let this go."

That's when a little voice inside my head said, "Seek to understand, not to be understood." And that was it. That was the answer. I could feel my shoulders letting down and feel myself relaxing for the first time all morning. I was trying to be understood rather than trying to understand. "Ok, I'll try to understand," I told myself.

Then two seconds later, I heard myself say, "Ah, screw it. I have no idea how to do that." And I went home and wrote a long, ranty e-mail to make folks understand me.

Yep.

I'm thinking I got the "praying only for God's will for me" part of Step 11 today, but I clearly still have some work to do on the whole "power to carry that out" part.

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This post was originally published at The Second Road.