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| Image credit: Photo by 365bunnies on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons |
I downed a handful of nuts and an alarming number of cookies while I surveyed the room until it occurred to me that I could leave the reception and return when the event began. I went off (with a few cookies for the road) and found a quiet little corner where I thought to myself (not for the first time), "I have a problem with food." Now the popular wisdom would have you believe that admitting you have a problem is the first step. But the popular wisdom is wrong. (Has the popular wisdom ever even read the actual First Step?)*
Admitting there is a problem is like standing up and getting read to take that first step; it's necessary for change, but it's not where change starts. , and for me to have the deep down willingness to do the kind of work it takes to make real changes in my life, I have to not only admit I have a problem, I have to admit I have a BIG problem: big enough to bump it ahead of the many other priorities in my life. And while I can answer "yes" to ten of , while I've known for years that I use food to self-medicate, while I know food is a "problem" for me, while I've thought about working on those issues, I'm still not ready to push my food issues to the top of my to do list. I haven't become ready to take the actual first of the 12 Steps and admit that I'm powerless over food and that my life is unmanageable.
I suspect I'm going to have to down a lot more cookies before I get to that point. Fortunately, there was also a reception after the event. With more cookies! So, I grabbed a few more and continued the research I'm doing for my actual First Step, one bite at a time.
*I actually stole this gripe from The Junky's Wife, who would have made it much funnier. ;)
This post was originally published at The Second Road.
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