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Thursday, March 5, 2009

Big Times

I'm (gulp!) in the New York Times blog Motherlode today. The piece is a reworking of a post I did here a few months ago about grocery shopping with my son, Austen. I've got more to say, but I'm too nervous with all those readers looking at me.

If you're a Motherlode reader: Welcome!

(I can't believe you've shown up and my most recent post is about serial killers.  It's like I invited guests over and didn't stuff everything in the closet -- I mean, clean up first!  While I'm off hiding my head under a sack, why not poke around in my greatest hits over on the sidebar?  I keep those rooms cleaner than the rest of the house.  I hope to be done blushing soon.)
Posted by at 3:29 AM
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13 comments:

  1. WOW!!!!

    What an amazing literary experience this must have been for you! Congratulations!

    PS A little estee lauder loose powder will disguise your blushing. ;)
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  2. I read you today in the Times and felt every word. My ASD son used to fall apart at Target; even during carefully planned, rehearsed trips. Even when I called ahead and warned the store. The expensive toys I bought bribing him to get off the floor and out of the store!!!!! Even now, when he is stable enough to handle Target, I remember the bad old days. On a recent trip we saw a Mom and child who knew us from the bad-old-meltdown-at-school days and they laughed and pointed. For a while, I carried cards that said, "This child has autism, a neurodevelopmental disorder, etc. , etc.,. He is doing his best and we are doing our best to calm him down." I used them a handful of times, mostly at airports when faced with enormous lines. He has come a long way and is doing beautifully now. I blog about him anonymously, too. Hang in there.
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  3. I think all moms have these moments, though not as often or extreme as mothers of autistic children. It's easy to empathize, especially when you show us both points of view. (love your writing, as always)

    Maybe you've written on this (direct me), what, if anything, can someone do to help. Don't assume we're staring and judging, I'm not, I always try let moms having a hard time know it's fine, to smile and be patient, distract the kid, it's really not such a big deal to me, nothing to apologize for, but if there are things we can do to make it easier for the children and their mothers, please let us know.

    Here's one I will now vow to do: whenever I am fortunate enough to go to the store without the kids, I will insist any mom WITH kids go in front of me in the check out, even if I only have 1 thing and they have 2 cart loads. Maybe that will help a little.
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  4. This is so cool MPJ.
    I went and read every comment over there, too.
    Very cool.
    Congrats!
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  5. As a devoted reader, I am not surprised at all that you've been featured so prominenetly. In fact, let me say to the New York Times that it's about time you gave MPJ her due! What were you waiting for, an engraved invitation to publish this woman's masterful prose? Yeesh.
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  7. Um, not just good. That was an AMAZING article. So, so amazing.

    I'm proud of Austin doing a good job, and proud of you for being such a great mom to him.
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  8. Woohoo! Congratulations, MPJ :)
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  9. you did a great job and summed up exactly what our lives are like day to day Thank you
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  10. Congragulations on the Times publication! (Talk about hitting a home run right out of the ball park!)
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  11. My oldest son is on the spectrum. He is now 12. I remember just about this exact scenario when he was 7. Over the years, with LOTS of support, he has gotten better. That super ugly rigidity rears its head much less often.
    Keep up the wonderful work with your son. It will pay off in the end.
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  12. Your essay in the Times was enlightening and beautifully written. It really moved me. The dozens on dozens of comments show that nearly all readers--in fact, all but those from two obviously disturbed people--felt the same way. Best wishes to you and your family.

    Peter Young
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  13. Congratulations! Beautiful piece, and obviously desperately needed.

    Having had my standard share of neurotypical meltdowns in public places, and watched plenty of parenting shows on how to handle them (none of which suggest they can be completely averted in ANY child), I also make some attempt at the sympathetic smile at any parent dealing with one. I also maintain a completely cheerful demeanor - not even a slight challenge when I am not dealing with it.

    About the only time I head down the judgement path is when I hear someone screaming at a child, and my judgement is "Oooohhhh, you're making this awful situation even harder on yourself". I know this, of course, from extensive experience.

    You're description of Austen's perceptions seemed surprisingly familiar to me. It is pretty much exactly my experience when I am INCREDIBLY sleep deprived and stressed as well. And I am talking less than 4 hour's sleep for 2 or 3 days in a row. Kinda puts into perspective (for me at least) what Austen is achieving every time he has to deal with the world as it is. Go Austen. You rock!
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