 |
| Image credit: Photo by Tonyç on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons |
My husband and I go out regularly without our children, but until recently we had never been away overnight. Difficulties with sleep are common among children with autism, and my son has only just (at age seven) settled into something like a reliable sleep pattern. So, a few months ago, we decided to try having a friend stay over for just one night while we went to dinner and stayed at the closest hotel we could find. I was less nervous about the kids than I was about my friend.
I thought she seemed stressed and anxious, as if she didn't feel up to the task, but also didn't want to say no and let us down. My anxiety rose with the perceived rise in her anxiety, and by the time Mark and I left the house, we were all snapping at each other. When we got to the restaurant, I was near tears. As in so many relationships in my life, I didn't trust my friend to be honest with me about her needs. Yet I felt it was my job to figure out what she wanted and needed and take care of her, like a good friend should. And I worried that if I got the answer wrong — tried to help her when she really didn't need it or didn't help her when I was supposed to know she did — that she'd be angry and resentful.
We sat at the bar waiting for a table, and Mark listened to me spill out all my anxiety and fear. When I finished, he said, "You know, I get stuck in that place a lot myself, and when I do, it helps me to remember that other people have Higher Powers too." With those words, a weight lifted, and I was able to give my friend over to her Higher Power. And when we arrived home early the next morning, everyone was still sleeping peacefully.
This post was originally published atThe Second Road.
0 comments:
Post a Comment